#3 BLACK BOOK/ZWARTBOEKZ (Dave's Choice)

Man, there's nothing like spending a Sunday afternoon following an early morning 10K race like curling up on the couch with your boyfriend to watch a two hour and 15 minute Dutch movie about World War II...in subtitles. I know it sounds like I'm being a jerk about Dave's selection. And while there was nothing I wanted to do more than to scratch another hash mark into the wall of this long movie experience Dave and I have signed up for, I also know that part of the process of this little experiment is going to be the challenge of seeing a great movie at the wrong time.  Such is the case of Paul Verhoeven's Black Book.

Before I dive into the experience that was Black Book I want to pause for a minute and fill you in on some necessary back story. For one, I am Jewish and by Jewish I mean in the loud, Woody Allen-ish, bagel noshing, sleepaway camp attending, neurotic mother, well-endowed, thick unruly hair-sense; not in the religious sense. I was Bat Mitzvahed (my theme was New York). I was confirmed. And most recently, I went on the great 10 day drunken pilgrimage to Israel known as Birthright.

Dave is not Jewish, he was raised Catholic. But he is less Catholic (or any religion for that matter) as he is a mid-Western. His family is uncomplicated, polite, subdued, and nice (so NICE!). He has a little goysha nose that is so cute I could bite it. Unlike myself, I'm sure Dave didn't have nightmare after nightmare when he was growing up about the Holocaust. I would wake up in a sweat that we had to dye my hair blonde or change our last name and flee the country or that my father had just found us the perfect hiding place. To this day I still have these nightmares.

So, for me, watching movies about the Holocaust is 10 times more upsetting than, say, watching The Kite Runner. I'm sure if I had recurring nightmares about sharks, it would have been the same for Jaws (which coincidentally I haven't seen either). And so on a sunny afternoon following a big amazing feat of finish a 10K race with minimal training, sitting down to watch the following could not have been worse timing:


Netflix's description:

Based on true events, this epic drama from writer-director Paul Verhoeven stars Carice van Houten as Rachel Stein, a beautiful Jewish woman who averts Nazi capture, then assumes a new Aryan identity and joins the Dutch resistance movement. A local leader persuades her to seduce a Nazi commander and take down the enemy from within. But leading a double life takes its toll -- especially when both sides turn against her.

Dave has said he loves this movie because you never quite no where it's leading you. Well, it doesn't lead you anywhere pleasant I can say that. It was just one heartbreaking turn after another. I am a firm believer that sometimes you love a movie or a song or a book because it hit you at the perfect time and sometimes it's quite the opposite. I'm sure if it had been after dinner and a long day at work, this movie might have affected me differently.

Black Book Trailer:




And remember what I said about timing? Well, that day was full of bad timing for the both of us. Namely, a question I can't believe I asked my boyfriend at just 10 months of dating.  Now, seeing the film open in Israel with the lead character teaching in a school on a Kibbutz, naturally made me think of my Birthright trip. And my Birthright trip made me think of the countless times in Israel that they tell you it is your job to "make Jewish babies". And my mind went to: Hebrew School. For no other reason then I can't keep my mouth shut, I asked Dave out of nowhere, "In a hypothetical world where we actually had kids, would you send them to Hebrew School?" "That's a weird question," Dave answered. "I know but..." "Is this just fodder for your blog?"

And we left it at that. He didn't say yes or no. What would it have mattered if he did? The important thing was that he didn't read into my mind-mouth slip. He didn't think I was asking him about marriage or babies or families or life plans, because I wasn't. The sign of a good relationship is not just the ability to forgive your partner for a silly mistake or not read too much into any subconscious cause of that mistake.  Dave's got that down solid.

As for Zwartboez, I prefer a Holocaust survivor story with a Cat Stevens soundtrack (Harold and Maude). I also agree with Dave that Tarantino pulled a lot for Inglourious Basterds from this film.


Black Book should never be confused with:

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy.

Next time is my pick Searching For Bobby Fischer!